So I am just sitting here, twirling my hair (a habit I’ve had since childhood, if you must know), wondering: now what? Where do I begin? I’ve got the page set up, I put up some pretty pictures for people to look at, so what do I say ?
Funny, there have been many times where I felt like I’ve had a lot to say that seemed incredibly important and I thought, “Oh, if only I had that blog set up!”. But, now, sitting here with this vast white space before me, I am…..speechless.
Then, of course there is that little (annoying) voice inside that says that no one is going to be really interested in what I have to say, so why bother? Who are you, it asks, to publish your thoughts and ideas, to think that any of it matters? That you matter? That voice. I have come to hate that voice but sadly it’s a voice I know all to well, as I am sure many of you do, too.
That voice, it never builds you up but only ever tears you down. The one whose whispers bring fear, shame, humiliation, defeat, worry, anxiety, panic, mistrust…. you get the idea. The voice that continually plants the seeds of lies and doubt in your mind and man, do we love to water and feed them.
You ever notice how fast weeds grow? Pay them little mind and the next thing you know they’ve overtaken the garden. If you’re not right on those suckers, forget it, you’re on your knees weeding all day. Now imagine how much faster they’d grow if you actually nourished them? It would completely overtake your entire garden, choking out and killing off anything good and beautiful. Now, it just full of thorns that prick and draw blood.
This is your mind on gardening, any questions?
Please know that it’s never the voice of God that brings these self-defeating thoughts. 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 says: “(For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.”
Your mind is the battlefield and there is a war being fought in and over you.
One of my biggest and longest struggles has been in my thought life and the Lord has told me on more than one occasion: “EVERY thought, daughter. You must measure every thought by My Word, My character. Whatever doesn’t measure up, you must cast out.” Do you have any idea how many thoughts you have in a day? Me neither, but it’s a lot.
This means a couple of things:
1: You absolutely must know the Word in order to know what truth is and what to weigh every thought against. In order to know the Word, you must (intimately) know the Word (Jesus). Get it?
2: It’s an active, conscious, deliberate thing to check all your thoughts, all day, every day. It’s amazing how sneaky they (and the enemy) can be when it comes to this soulish part of yourself. He is an opportunist and will take any and every chance he can get to bring you down and to keep you from knowing the truth of who you are and what God thinks about you. (There is so much I could say and tell you regarding this subject, but it would take far more than one post to talk about the depths of it, I assure you!)
So, as far as this blog goes, heck, if even just one person reads it and is affected, helped or blessed in any way, good. “That voice” can go take a long walk off a short pier. And if you’re on this journey with me, then please, know that God loves you and if you want to know who you REALLY are, seek Him and He will surely show you.
I guess maybe I did have something to say after all. Was it important? That’s a matter of perception.
Mark 4:1-20; Matthew 15:13